Baby Shower Planning Guide

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Below are answers to some Frequently Asked Questions about baby showers.

When should we start planning the baby shower?
It's great to start planning 6-8 weeks prior to the shower date. This will enable enough time for you to develop a guest list, identify a time and location, send invitations, plan food, and purchase shower supplies and favors.

Who throws the baby shower?
Typically a close friend or family member throws the baby shower. Sometimes two friends will co-host a shower. The mom-to-be should be asked for input, but should not be actively involved in preparing for the shower.

When should the baby shower be held?
Baby showers are generally held one to two months prior to the due date. This allows time for new parents to put away the shower gifts and purchase any necessary items before the baby arrives. If the mom-to-be is expecting twins or triplets the shower should be held before the 7th month in case the babies arrive early or the mom is required to be inactive during the last months of her pregnancy.

One of the biggest factors in selecting a party date and time is determining when the largest number of closes friends and family can attend. Check the proposed date and time with "key" friends and relatives before committing to the shower time (before preparing the invitations or making any reservations). It's better to select another date than not have a favorite friend or family member attend.

Showers with friends and family members are typically scheduled for a weekend afternoon and last for 2-3 hours. Workplace baby showers are often held at lunch time during the week.

Where should the baby shower be held?
A baby shower should be held in a location that will be convenient and comfortable for the mom-to-be and guests. Baby showers are often held in the home of the shower host or other friend or family member. Baby showers can also be held at parks, restaurants, community centers, and church halls.

Some advantages to having a party at a home include having plenty of time to set-up (you can start the day before), having supplies close at hand, and having the party in an environment your friends and family are comfortable in.

Some disadvantages to having a party at a home include having to clean the house twice (before and after the party), possible damage (chocolate cake ground into white carpet), and space limitations (unless you have a big house and big yard).

If you're having an outdoor party, always have a back-up plan in case of poor weather.

How much does a baby shower cost?
The cost of baby showers varies dramatically. If you rent a location, serve a full catered meal, and hire a photographer, the cost will be substantial.

However, you can have a nice shower for less than $20 per guest if you have the shower in a home or other free location, don't serve a full meal, and shop for discount shower supplies and favors. See our Budget Baby Shower page for cost saving ideas.

Are showers held for 2nd and 3rd babies?
In the past, showers were only held for the 1st baby. However, many people now have showers for each baby. Generally, baby showers for 2nd and 3rd babies are smaller and less elaborate than showers for the 1st baby and are often only attended by close friends and family. Another baby shower will be especially appreciated if the new baby is a different gender than the previous children, if there are multiple babies, or if there is a large age difference between the new baby and previous children.

Is it appropriate to have more than one baby shower for the same baby?
If the mom-to-be has distinct groups of people who'd like to attend a shower, it may be appropriate to have more than one shower. For example, one shower could be held for close friends and family and another for co-workers.

Can you have a baby shower after the baby is born?
Yes, but keep in mind that one of the main reasons for a shower is to provide gifts that the parents will need for the baby. However, if the parents already have most of what they need, the baby arrives early, or it's not possible to schedule a shower before the birth, it's fine to schedule a shower for after the baby arrives. One advantage to having a baby shower after the birth is that guests can visit with the baby.

Do you have baby showers for parents who are adopting?
Yes, but the timing can be tricky. Adoptions often happen on short notice and sometimes fall through at last minute. It may make sense to have the shower after the baby arrives.

Are baby showers held for dads-to-be?
Showers just for dads aren't that common, but in some cases a group of friends or coworkers may decide to do something special to commemorate the occasion. It's more common to have a co-ed shower for both the mom and dad-to-be.

Can I host one shower for two friends are who are expecting at the same time?
Unless the two mom-to-be's are really close, have the same group of friends, and don't mind sharing the spotlight, it's best to have separate showers.

How do office baby showers differ from baby showers for friends and family?
Even if the mom-to-be is close to her co-workers, an office baby shower is usually simple and quick. The shower is often held at the work site or a nearby lunch place just before the mom-to-be goes on maternity leave. An office baby shower usually last less than an hour and consists of refreshments, gift opening, and socializing.

Does the shower have to have a theme?
A theme isn't required, but can be fun and can provide inspiration for invitations, decorations, games and refreshments. Visit our Baby Shower Themes page for ideas.

Who should be invited to the baby shower?
Family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers are all potential guests. The shower organizer and mom-to-be should develop a guest list starting with close family, good friends, and others the mom-to-be wants to share this special occasion with. If the guest list becomes very large or has distinct groups of people (family and coworkers who don't know each other) then separate showers can be held.

Historically baby showers were for women friends and family. However, as men have become more involved in supporting women through pregnancy and taking care of babies, more showers include the father-to-be as well as male friends and relatives.

If the shower will be co-ed, choose a theme that will work well for both men and women, such as a Barbecue, Picnic, or Luau. Serve more substantial food than for an all-female shower and choose shower games that won't be embarrassing.

If children will be included as shower guests, consider hiring a sitter to help watch and entertain the children.

How many people should be invited to a baby shower?
This really depends on the mom-to-be's preference and the shower host's space and budget constraints. Generally 6-10 guests is a good number, since it's enough to feel like a party, but still allow for personal interaction. However, if men and children are included in the guest list, it's likely you'll have a larger group. If the guest list is larger than seems reasonable, consider having more than one shower. For example, a shower with family and another with close friends or coworkers.

When should baby showers invitations be sent?
Send the invitations approximately 3 weeks before the shower. Request RSVPs 2 weeks prior to the shower and follow-up with any guests you haven't heard from 1 week prior to the shower. This will enable you to finalize the guest list before you make the final food, party ware, and favor purchases.

Can guests be invited by email or electronic invitation?
Written and mailed (old fashioned US postal service) invitations are still preferred for special occasions like baby showers. Visit our Baby Shower Invitations page for ideas. Follow-ups and reminders can be done by phone and/or email.

What refreshments should be served at a baby shower?
The time of day, the shower theme and your budget all influence the type of refreshments you'll have a the shower. At a minimum, dessert (often a decorated cake) and beverages are served. Snacks, including cut fruit and vegetables, cheese and crackers, and chips and dips are often added.

If the shower is during mealtime then a full meal is generally served, such as sandwiches and salads for a lunch time shower or pasta, salad, and bread for dinner. Avoid serving alcoholic beverages. See our Baby Shower Refreshments page for details.

Do we have to play baby shower games?
Although shower games are common, they aren't required. If the mom-to-be cringes at the idea of seeing who can suck the juice out of the baby bottle the fastest, try to find some games that are more appealing to her. Word games, board games, card games or a group craft project can provide an opportunity for guest to interact without feeling silly.

If you're not going to have any formal games or activities, just make sure all the guests are introduced to each other and have the opportunity to socialize over refreshments.

Are guests expected to bring gifts?
Yes, the idea is to "shower" the mom-to-be with gifts she needs for the baby. Ask the mom-to-be to register at a local store or make a wish list of Special Gift Ideas.

Should I include gift suggestions with the invitation?
If the mom-to-be has registered at a local store, include that information on the invitation. If not, keep a list of suggestions near the phone in case guests ask for ideas when they RSVP. It's still considered bad form to ask for cash gifts, but gift cards to department stores, drug stores, and baby specialty stores are fine.

Do you open gifts at the shower?
Yes, the baby gifts are a significant part of the shower and guests enjoy seeing all the cute clothes and fun toys.

Should the guests be given party favors?
Yes, it's thoughtful to provide each guest with a small gift or keepsake item. Visit our Baby Shower Favors page for ideas.

Does the mom-to-be send thank you notes?
Yes, the mom-to-be or dad-to-be should send handwritten thank you notes for all gifts as soon as possible after the shower. Don't wait until the baby arrives or it may never get done. Designate someone at the shower to write down the name of each person and a description of his/her gift, so the thank you notes can be personalized (thank you for the adorable pink bear blanket). The mom-to-be should also send a thank you note and gift to the shower organizer.